This past weekend, I had a passing conversation with two people. They both expressed their feelings about using the word ‘love’ too much. They said it can become cliché and simply over-used. It got me to thinking about why I tell the people that I love “I love you” often.
Over the last few years, my life has been a slight roller coaster. I guess it started when many years prior when I was in an abusive relationship with a person that would take sucker punches at me when my back was turned or while I was sleeping. My conversations with God became extremely personal as I begged for a way out of this situation. The only way I can describe my desperation at that time would be to refer to the movie Eat Pray Love. The moment when Liz (played by Julia Roberts) gets on her knees and pours her heart out. One of the reflective phrases during that pray was “God… I am in serious trouble…” Those are the moments when you feel trapped, spiritually impoverished and hopeless.
During that time period in my life, I turned to my faith and gathered the strength to outwit this person out of my life. Shortly after that, I discovered the cancer that changed my life yet again. Prior to all of this, I lost the person in my life that meant the world to me. My grandmother. She was the only person that I knew 100% loved me for everything I was, am and going to be. This was a devastating loss because I felt there will never be another to love me like that.
This is not a ‘sad’ blog. This is blissful blog. During each one of these less than perfect situations, I had something in my life that was consistent. I had love. Love from my best friend Melanie. Love from other people in my life. Love coming from God. Love coming from myself to myself. This love being on consistent in my life, I cant help but to use it often.
I also think about how if I left this earth right now at this very moment, would the people in my life know that I love them. Did they not only hear it come from my voice, did they hear it come from my heart? God I hope so. :-)
I make no apologies. :-)
Monday, January 17, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Dating Outside One'sRace...
This past Sunday, I caught a show that had an interesting segment. The entire show was not based on this topic but it got me to thinking. The host of the show mentioned to the guest that there was an article about her stating that African American women should date outside their race. The guest, who happened to be an African American actress, explained that she was misquoted. She explained the person writing the article asked her a question in reference to a recent poll that showed a high percentage of single African American women. This percentage higher than other women of color and Caucasian women.
The actress went on to explain that she merely mentioned her own personal opinion and experience with just a few short sentences to that reporter at the time. Next thing she knew, there was an entire article about the subject.
However, she did go on record to say that she believes there are a high percentage of single African American women because there is a lot of pressure to NOT date outside of the race. She goes on to mention that this pressure does not apply to African American men. This lead to a huge article that stated “______ to Black Women: Date Outside Your Race!’
She elaborated further about the pressure to not date outside of our own race; which in my own personal case, seems to be true. However, I have never been a man to follow rules that I truly do not believe in.
If it is wise to think outside the box, why not DATE outside the ‘box’?
For some of us, this is easier said than done. Some of us have this fear of judgment simply because we want to date someone that makes us smile, laugh and add to our happiness. The judgment comes when our friends, loved ones and strangers see that this person is not of the same race. In this year of 2011, we have to understand (but not comfortably accept) that ignorance and racism will drive these acts of judgment. We have to be ‘ok’ with ourselves and find the courage to do what makes us joyful. After all, this life belongs to us and tomorrow might not make her debut.
We also have to surround ourselves with friends and family that want the best for us. Could you imagine having friends and people around you that love you for what you are? People that embrace and accept your harmless decisions topped with a lover that makes you want to be a better person. Yeah…I will take that any day of the week over a racist retro comment. (smile)
The actress went on to explain that she merely mentioned her own personal opinion and experience with just a few short sentences to that reporter at the time. Next thing she knew, there was an entire article about the subject.
However, she did go on record to say that she believes there are a high percentage of single African American women because there is a lot of pressure to NOT date outside of the race. She goes on to mention that this pressure does not apply to African American men. This lead to a huge article that stated “______ to Black Women: Date Outside Your Race!’
She elaborated further about the pressure to not date outside of our own race; which in my own personal case, seems to be true. However, I have never been a man to follow rules that I truly do not believe in.
If it is wise to think outside the box, why not DATE outside the ‘box’?
For some of us, this is easier said than done. Some of us have this fear of judgment simply because we want to date someone that makes us smile, laugh and add to our happiness. The judgment comes when our friends, loved ones and strangers see that this person is not of the same race. In this year of 2011, we have to understand (but not comfortably accept) that ignorance and racism will drive these acts of judgment. We have to be ‘ok’ with ourselves and find the courage to do what makes us joyful. After all, this life belongs to us and tomorrow might not make her debut.
We also have to surround ourselves with friends and family that want the best for us. Could you imagine having friends and people around you that love you for what you are? People that embrace and accept your harmless decisions topped with a lover that makes you want to be a better person. Yeah…I will take that any day of the week over a racist retro comment. (smile)
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Life...
As I sit and think about life, I cant help but think about if there are things left unsaid. Today I just found out a friend is making a decision to ‘release’ her mother by turning off the life support. It saddens me on different levels. However, it reminds me that we should continue to let our loved ones know they are loved and we are here NOW. No more games. No more “I called him last so he better call me next”. No more “I spent enough time with him/her this week, so I’m good.” If your heart prompts a feeling to see someone, reach out to someone or simply call or text… do it. As adults, we should all know better. We know tomorrow or the next minute and hour is not promised. Live as if we are in our last minutes on this earth.
Take a brief moment to tell someone you love them. Tell your family that even though you don’t see eye-to-eye, you are thinking about them and loving them. Accept people for what they are; good, bad or indifferent.
Take a brief moment to tell someone you love them. Tell your family that even though you don’t see eye-to-eye, you are thinking about them and loving them. Accept people for what they are; good, bad or indifferent.
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