In our lives we meet people, we love people and we fall in love with people. However, life happens and causes these relationships to change. Sometimes it is unexpected and sometimes it comes right after a huge argument/disagreement.
There are people out there, like myself, that want to hold on to these friendships and relationships because for many years, this was my family. I created a group of friends and past relationships as my family. During this time, I was in search of who I was (truly) and the meaning of family. I wasn’t where I am today spiritually either. I can see now how confusion, longing to be in a family and loneliness guided my actions. Thankfully, I have been shown a better way to love others and myself; even when the ones who say they love me and make fun of my spirituality. We already know what and who is guiding those actions of judgment; that’s why I keep Praising because I will NOT be thrown off this path.
If it wasn’t for my spiritual path, I would have gone threw my attempts of suicide, lingered in my depression and lost everyone I TRULY love and TRULY love me. So I will continue to worship something that has given me nothing but Peace and Love. Especially when the people of this world (including people around me) have judged me, made of me and ridiculed me. Why would I EVER choose the people of this world BEFORE my Heavenly Father? Because of him, I have forgiven you all and gained a better understanding of why people (including myself) do what they do.
If this bothers anyone, please remove yourself from my life because it will not change. I completely understand and have already forgiven you. The reward is far greater than anything I have ever received on this earth. I have been loved, forgiven and accepted for EVERYTHING that I am by God. It’s a great feeling. It’s a feeling of unconditional love. God made me and I am not a mistake. I am still the same Byron and I love the same way; he just wants us to be better people on this earth.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Why is this a bad decision??
There are times when we go outside our norm and do things we don’t normally do. For instance, we will say, “You know, I know I don’t usually date people in their 20’s but let me give it a shot”. Next thing you know, you are dealing with adolescent situations that cause you to age with every moment. You find yourself bailing them or yourself out of jail, dealing with their psychotic ex at your front door, and/or feeling the ‘wtf’ feeling in the bottom of your stomach because you KNOW you made a bad decision from the start.
Why do we attempt to fix what is not broken?
As we become older, we realize these life lessons hand us the keys to maturity. So why would we, every now and then, lock ourselves out on the other side of that door; the side of immaturity and bad decisions? I personally believe that every now and then we decide to mix it up a bit and see why we have those boundaries; those necessary and relevant boundaries that protect us from the self-inflicting troubles of life. Because lets face it, life will throw us ‘curve balls’ that we cannot control. So why not control the ‘mess’ we have power over?
We are here in the adult realm for a reason. By the grace of God, we made it. Let’s not mess it up and move backwards. If it ain’t broke…don’t hex it. :-)
Why do we attempt to fix what is not broken?
As we become older, we realize these life lessons hand us the keys to maturity. So why would we, every now and then, lock ourselves out on the other side of that door; the side of immaturity and bad decisions? I personally believe that every now and then we decide to mix it up a bit and see why we have those boundaries; those necessary and relevant boundaries that protect us from the self-inflicting troubles of life. Because lets face it, life will throw us ‘curve balls’ that we cannot control. So why not control the ‘mess’ we have power over?
We are here in the adult realm for a reason. By the grace of God, we made it. Let’s not mess it up and move backwards. If it ain’t broke…don’t hex it. :-)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Transition…
As I sit here thinking about the times I had in Dallas (Texas as a whole) and I compare it to Denver (the city in which I will reside in just a couple of days), I think about that word ‘transition’. As we know, transition means to change, switch, evolution, conversion, alteration and etc. As I mentioned before (in a previous blog), we as people do not change, only our behaviors/actions. Immediately after that current thought, I think about my life in Denver a few years ago. It was an experience that I did not see coming. This experience brought on new views on life, friendships and relationships. Did that experience change me or did it change my behaviors?
One can only hope to learn from our mistakes and take those mistakes with us as a reminder of what NOT to do. For some, we resort back to that child ‘smile and hide’ phase in our lives that cause us to make the same mistakes continuously. We get back in to those same toxic relationships, allow those selfish friends back into our lives and knowingly harm ourselves.
Why do we go back for additional hurt MORE than we go back to the things that make us happy? Why do we choose to become ‘masochists’ instead of optimists?
This is something thing that I will continue to work on in my lifetime. I always consider myself a ‘work in progress’ because I want to better myself as a person on many levels. Will I always be that person that becomes a slightly nervous when EVERYTHING is going right? YES! However, I am learning to change my behaviors and actions so that I can enjoy the moment right then….right now…at that instant.
One can only hope to learn from our mistakes and take those mistakes with us as a reminder of what NOT to do. For some, we resort back to that child ‘smile and hide’ phase in our lives that cause us to make the same mistakes continuously. We get back in to those same toxic relationships, allow those selfish friends back into our lives and knowingly harm ourselves.
Why do we go back for additional hurt MORE than we go back to the things that make us happy? Why do we choose to become ‘masochists’ instead of optimists?
This is something thing that I will continue to work on in my lifetime. I always consider myself a ‘work in progress’ because I want to better myself as a person on many levels. Will I always be that person that becomes a slightly nervous when EVERYTHING is going right? YES! However, I am learning to change my behaviors and actions so that I can enjoy the moment right then….right now…at that instant.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Early Morning Thoughts...
I wake up this morning from a dream. This dream led me to do some ‘research’ on a situation that could be detrimental to my well-being. Upon doing this research, I realized that I might have been caught up in the ‘new’ of things and should always tread with caution.
So here I am, up at 6:31am trying to figure out what to do with my next steps of life. Denver or Dallas?
I refer back to my previous K.I.S.S. blog entry and it does not help. LOL However, I know what to do. I know I cannot figure this out on my own. This is why we have a Heavenly Father to help us along this path in life.
Side Note: Some make fun of my relationship and me with God. That is very ok. We all have our outlets and vises to help us make our decisions in life, I do not judge. Some have drugs, alcohol, friends, foes, spiritual statues, lucky underwear and etc (LOL). Again, I don’t judge. However, I do find it comical that the ones that judge me for my beliefs, have a history of being judged (people of color, homosexuals and etc). Let’s break that chain, people. Just let everyone be who they want to be no matter if you believe in it or not. No one is telling you to ‘go along with it’. Just leave it alone. Don’t make it your personal task in life to try to make the other person feel shame or embarrassed. Because I tell you right now, it will not work on me. God has provided me with Grace, Love, Mercy and blessings far better than what anyone on earth can give me.
Love you all,
Byron Gabriel
So here I am, up at 6:31am trying to figure out what to do with my next steps of life. Denver or Dallas?
I refer back to my previous K.I.S.S. blog entry and it does not help. LOL However, I know what to do. I know I cannot figure this out on my own. This is why we have a Heavenly Father to help us along this path in life.
Side Note: Some make fun of my relationship and me with God. That is very ok. We all have our outlets and vises to help us make our decisions in life, I do not judge. Some have drugs, alcohol, friends, foes, spiritual statues, lucky underwear and etc (LOL). Again, I don’t judge. However, I do find it comical that the ones that judge me for my beliefs, have a history of being judged (people of color, homosexuals and etc). Let’s break that chain, people. Just let everyone be who they want to be no matter if you believe in it or not. No one is telling you to ‘go along with it’. Just leave it alone. Don’t make it your personal task in life to try to make the other person feel shame or embarrassed. Because I tell you right now, it will not work on me. God has provided me with Grace, Love, Mercy and blessings far better than what anyone on earth can give me.
Love you all,
Byron Gabriel
Thursday, August 26, 2010
K.I.S.S…
We all heard of the infamous K.I.S.S.; keep it simple, stupid. I think that we all need to remind ourselves of this when it comes to life and especially relationships.
During a chat with a friend tonight, we discussed relationships. He was stating that relationships are hard and people are hard to figure out. I smiled and remembered the days when I had the same thought and feelings about relationships.
When I first started dating, I went into it with open arms and a feeling of excitement that no one could destroy. After all, it was new and I only knew of the ‘yucky love stuff’ I fashioned in my young, naive mind.
Then after a few relationships and a marriage, true life hit me. Suddenly there was an assault on my hope and a dagger in my heart. OK, OK…I am being dramatic. LOL However, you get the point. Anyone over the age of 30 years old, who takes a quick review of his or her lives starting with the early dating age, knows of what I speak. Something happens during this process and one modifies their way of thinking. It can go either way; positive or negative.
For most of us, we look back and finally get the answer; the answer and guide towards a successful relationship. We start noticing signs from the very beginning. Signs such as these:
How does he/she treat their mother and the friends they claim they love? – If they disrespect their mother (especially when they have a kind and loving mother), how in hell are they going to respect you? If they cant revere the person that gave them life and nurtured them….what makes you think you are on a higher level in their minds?
You ask about their history and previous relationships. That will give you some indication if they have learned their lesson and if their paths have changed.
Depending on who you are, you check for sensitivity. If they are the type that seem to have no concern about their fellow man, why would you date this person?
The list can go on forever…
What about when you want to know if someone is truly interested? This, to me, has been easier ONLY in the last 3 years. I know it took me a while. Well better late than never right? I realize that we are all different. However, there are some parts of us that can be ‘cookie cutter’ when it comes to our attraction and intrigue towards another person.
For instance, we want to know more about that person. Curiosity is in our DNA; when we are intrigued by ANYTHING, we want to know more. That can be food, a person, a possible vacation spot and etc. If they are not asking questions or trying to get to know you, they are probably ‘not that into you’.
Some may argue that point because they confuse chatting (talk or text) frequently as a sign that someone likes them. That could be because you are, at that time, a ‘filler’ and they have no one else to really talk to. Be careful and pay attention to know the difference.
Another way you can tell if someone is interested is by how much time the want to spend with you. Now let us be honest about this one, especially us men. If someone is busy with work or school (or both), that person will make time for you if they are interested. Now I am not saying they will make a lot of time with you if they have valid reasons. For the most part, we can all make a little time. If we do create this window of freedom and we spend it with you, guess what….we like you ;-).
During that chat with my friend, I reminded him that relationships are supposed to be simple. We get so used to the ‘less than perfect’ relationships, we think this is how it is supposed to be. These relationships derive out of loneliness or stem from our low self-esteem. When he mentioned that people are hard to understand I immediately thought ‘why?’ If you do not understand someone, open your mouth as ask. Simplicity, I am huge fan of yours. Will you marry me? LOL
Remember, keep it simple stupid (K.I.S.S)
During a chat with a friend tonight, we discussed relationships. He was stating that relationships are hard and people are hard to figure out. I smiled and remembered the days when I had the same thought and feelings about relationships.
When I first started dating, I went into it with open arms and a feeling of excitement that no one could destroy. After all, it was new and I only knew of the ‘yucky love stuff’ I fashioned in my young, naive mind.
Then after a few relationships and a marriage, true life hit me. Suddenly there was an assault on my hope and a dagger in my heart. OK, OK…I am being dramatic. LOL However, you get the point. Anyone over the age of 30 years old, who takes a quick review of his or her lives starting with the early dating age, knows of what I speak. Something happens during this process and one modifies their way of thinking. It can go either way; positive or negative.
For most of us, we look back and finally get the answer; the answer and guide towards a successful relationship. We start noticing signs from the very beginning. Signs such as these:
How does he/she treat their mother and the friends they claim they love? – If they disrespect their mother (especially when they have a kind and loving mother), how in hell are they going to respect you? If they cant revere the person that gave them life and nurtured them….what makes you think you are on a higher level in their minds?
You ask about their history and previous relationships. That will give you some indication if they have learned their lesson and if their paths have changed.
Depending on who you are, you check for sensitivity. If they are the type that seem to have no concern about their fellow man, why would you date this person?
The list can go on forever…
What about when you want to know if someone is truly interested? This, to me, has been easier ONLY in the last 3 years. I know it took me a while. Well better late than never right? I realize that we are all different. However, there are some parts of us that can be ‘cookie cutter’ when it comes to our attraction and intrigue towards another person.
For instance, we want to know more about that person. Curiosity is in our DNA; when we are intrigued by ANYTHING, we want to know more. That can be food, a person, a possible vacation spot and etc. If they are not asking questions or trying to get to know you, they are probably ‘not that into you’.
Some may argue that point because they confuse chatting (talk or text) frequently as a sign that someone likes them. That could be because you are, at that time, a ‘filler’ and they have no one else to really talk to. Be careful and pay attention to know the difference.
Another way you can tell if someone is interested is by how much time the want to spend with you. Now let us be honest about this one, especially us men. If someone is busy with work or school (or both), that person will make time for you if they are interested. Now I am not saying they will make a lot of time with you if they have valid reasons. For the most part, we can all make a little time. If we do create this window of freedom and we spend it with you, guess what….we like you ;-).
During that chat with my friend, I reminded him that relationships are supposed to be simple. We get so used to the ‘less than perfect’ relationships, we think this is how it is supposed to be. These relationships derive out of loneliness or stem from our low self-esteem. When he mentioned that people are hard to understand I immediately thought ‘why?’ If you do not understand someone, open your mouth as ask. Simplicity, I am huge fan of yours. Will you marry me? LOL
Remember, keep it simple stupid (K.I.S.S)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Extensions of you…
I heard once before that your friends are extensions of you. The message that I took from that was this:
For the most part, you and your friend(s) may share the same views, political status/opinions, and views of right/wrong. So when you decide to develop new friendships, what would be the blueprint towards a fruitful and prosperous friendship?
This is my opinion (Side note: I am STILL learning because, apparently, I have chosen some shady individuals in the last year). I believe that it is important to know that each person is truly and individual. However, I believe the ‘core’ of each person has to match up in some way or another (even if it is a small percentage). For instance, you have a friend that has multiple friends that they keep close and these people (in some ways) abuse their children. You have a strong dislike (and even contempt) for these types of parents. Your friend not only allow these people to be in their lives, but they even let these negligent parents around their own children.
Another example is this: Your new friend cannot, will not and do not understand human emotion. They make you feel as if you are less than a human being when you tap into these feelings; it is because they are afraid of what they do not understand. You, on the other hand, have been in touch with your emotions and feel they make you human. Emotional detachment (emotional retardation) is foreign to you. Instead of saying they do not understand, they call you a**holes and ignore your feelings altogether.
At the end of the day, we should look at these friends and remember they represent you because they are ‘extensions of you’. Do you want to continue and make excuses for them? Or should you cut your loses, and move on?
As in most relationships (friendship or lover), love is usually not the problem. Its all the other ‘stuff’ that comes with it.
What ever happened to the Melanie Green's, Tracy Barnes' and Larry Lee's of the world?? The friends that have your back no matter what and will truly be there to comfort and listen to you?
For the most part, you and your friend(s) may share the same views, political status/opinions, and views of right/wrong. So when you decide to develop new friendships, what would be the blueprint towards a fruitful and prosperous friendship?
This is my opinion (Side note: I am STILL learning because, apparently, I have chosen some shady individuals in the last year). I believe that it is important to know that each person is truly and individual. However, I believe the ‘core’ of each person has to match up in some way or another (even if it is a small percentage). For instance, you have a friend that has multiple friends that they keep close and these people (in some ways) abuse their children. You have a strong dislike (and even contempt) for these types of parents. Your friend not only allow these people to be in their lives, but they even let these negligent parents around their own children.
Another example is this: Your new friend cannot, will not and do not understand human emotion. They make you feel as if you are less than a human being when you tap into these feelings; it is because they are afraid of what they do not understand. You, on the other hand, have been in touch with your emotions and feel they make you human. Emotional detachment (emotional retardation) is foreign to you. Instead of saying they do not understand, they call you a**holes and ignore your feelings altogether.
At the end of the day, we should look at these friends and remember they represent you because they are ‘extensions of you’. Do you want to continue and make excuses for them? Or should you cut your loses, and move on?
As in most relationships (friendship or lover), love is usually not the problem. Its all the other ‘stuff’ that comes with it.
What ever happened to the Melanie Green's, Tracy Barnes' and Larry Lee's of the world?? The friends that have your back no matter what and will truly be there to comfort and listen to you?
Friday, August 13, 2010
The Changed Human??
Often times, we hear about people that ‘suddenly’ go berserk and do things that seem to be out of character. Today I was having a short discussion about the actor Mel Gibson. Over the years, this actor grabbed prestigious awards such as ‘Best Director’ (Braveheart, 1995); which he won an Oscar and Golden Globe. However, Mr. Gibson has also been known for his racist slurs, drunken arrests and alleged abuse towards his baby momma.
As I sit and listen to this television, I hear other actors like Whoopie Goldberg***, Tracy Morgan and other Black actors state they do not believe Mel Gibson is a racist. They seem to dismiss the fact Mr Gibson has been recorded making racist slurs against the Jewish and the African American community. Reps for Mr. Gibson say in so many words….’Blame it on the alcohol.’ The supported actors for Mr. Gibson go on to say this is NOT the person they know and have worked with over the years. They say that something has ‘changed’ and none of us knows the entire story. You know what, they are correct. We do not know the entire story. However, from what I heard and what has been recorded and played 1,000 times on radio and television, I don’t need to know much more than that.
In all honesty, we have all said and done things we regret and WISH we could take back. However, how many times can we make the SAME mistakes and expect our friends, families and fans to believe this was a simple ‘whoopsy daisy’??
Is this the REAL Mel Gibson that has been hidden by PR and Hollywood? Or is this just a mistake.
Well this is my opinion: I believe that people don’t change, only behaviors. Don’t get me wrong, I feel this pertains to us ALL (myself included). We can hide and learn to bite our tongue when it comes to these statements or feelings. Which means our actions/behaviors will change. Deep down, we still feel the same way.
***Side Note About Whoopie Goldberg - Did you know that Ms Goldberg refuses to have a black husband in her movies? She played the wife of civil activist Medgar Evers who was black. However, during the movie, he was dead. This is just something to think about.
Enjoy! :-)
As I sit and listen to this television, I hear other actors like Whoopie Goldberg***, Tracy Morgan and other Black actors state they do not believe Mel Gibson is a racist. They seem to dismiss the fact Mr Gibson has been recorded making racist slurs against the Jewish and the African American community. Reps for Mr. Gibson say in so many words….’Blame it on the alcohol.’ The supported actors for Mr. Gibson go on to say this is NOT the person they know and have worked with over the years. They say that something has ‘changed’ and none of us knows the entire story. You know what, they are correct. We do not know the entire story. However, from what I heard and what has been recorded and played 1,000 times on radio and television, I don’t need to know much more than that.
In all honesty, we have all said and done things we regret and WISH we could take back. However, how many times can we make the SAME mistakes and expect our friends, families and fans to believe this was a simple ‘whoopsy daisy’??
Is this the REAL Mel Gibson that has been hidden by PR and Hollywood? Or is this just a mistake.
Well this is my opinion: I believe that people don’t change, only behaviors. Don’t get me wrong, I feel this pertains to us ALL (myself included). We can hide and learn to bite our tongue when it comes to these statements or feelings. Which means our actions/behaviors will change. Deep down, we still feel the same way.
***Side Note About Whoopie Goldberg - Did you know that Ms Goldberg refuses to have a black husband in her movies? She played the wife of civil activist Medgar Evers who was black. However, during the movie, he was dead. This is just something to think about.
Enjoy! :-)
Monday, July 19, 2010
They call her Love....
Today I sat and watched an episode of one of my favorite shows and it got me to thinking. This portion of the show was about an elderly couple who've been together for over 50 years. The two actors did an amazing job portraying love and devotion to one another; which was the part that made me 'think'.
I started thinking about my experiences, experiences of my friends and stories about a friend of a friend. Many of us search our entire lives for that partner who will look at us, even after 50 years, in 'that way'.
'That Way' = The look of desire (because they want you THAT bad), the look of fear (scared that you will not love them back or scared that you will leave) and the look of excitement (that you are right there...in that moment...with them) all rolled up into one.
Some of us long for that sort of love and some of us are scared of it. To our own detriment, we get into these relationships out of loneliness and thirst for love. We quickly forget that love cannot be created or forced. These actions can only lead to disaster, heartache and hurt. Love has to present itself and grab you by the hand organically.
For the ones that long for this experience, be patient. For the ones that are scared of love, it's understandable. However, it can change your life for the better once you experience true love.
I started thinking about my experiences, experiences of my friends and stories about a friend of a friend. Many of us search our entire lives for that partner who will look at us, even after 50 years, in 'that way'.
'That Way' = The look of desire (because they want you THAT bad), the look of fear (scared that you will not love them back or scared that you will leave) and the look of excitement (that you are right there...in that moment...with them) all rolled up into one.
Some of us long for that sort of love and some of us are scared of it. To our own detriment, we get into these relationships out of loneliness and thirst for love. We quickly forget that love cannot be created or forced. These actions can only lead to disaster, heartache and hurt. Love has to present itself and grab you by the hand organically.
For the ones that long for this experience, be patient. For the ones that are scared of love, it's understandable. However, it can change your life for the better once you experience true love.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Friends...
Friends. We all remember that old song. However, do we really know the meaning of friends? I personally struggle with the thought of true friendship. I thank God often for the few TRUE friends in my life. I also ask God to help me with my own personal struggles of remaining a true friend to others.
Presently, I can count the number of true friends in my life on one hand; I am SO BLESSED. If I had only one true friend, I would have the same feeling. During my 32 years of living, I realize that friendships should be about quality and not quantity.
The friends I have in my life are like my family. They are the ones that have seen me at my worst and at my best and have loved me the same. Who could ask for anything more??
This blog is dedicated to my true friends. Thank you for loving me, putting up with me and being there for me. I will love each of you forever. Even when we fight or disagree, know that is only a bump in our friendship that doesn't change a thing.
Forever yours,
Byron Gabriel
Presently, I can count the number of true friends in my life on one hand; I am SO BLESSED. If I had only one true friend, I would have the same feeling. During my 32 years of living, I realize that friendships should be about quality and not quantity.
The friends I have in my life are like my family. They are the ones that have seen me at my worst and at my best and have loved me the same. Who could ask for anything more??
This blog is dedicated to my true friends. Thank you for loving me, putting up with me and being there for me. I will love each of you forever. Even when we fight or disagree, know that is only a bump in our friendship that doesn't change a thing.
Forever yours,
Byron Gabriel
My first....
Well, this is my first blog entry on this site. I used to have a blog/journal on Yahoo! but the infamous company ended to that option for all. I am thankful that I FINALLY sat down and found another site to list all my experiences, funny stories, dilemmas and other life experiences.
Let me start by saying that my blogs are not about my friends and me 100%. My blogs will consist of my own thoughts and may even be a message that came to me via God. These messages drive me to place them into the universe for someone else to read and feed. You never know with God's messages.
Therefore, I hope you will find my ‘some what’ literary outlet amusing as I have always.
Peace, blessings, love and light...
Byron Gabriel
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