We all heard of the infamous K.I.S.S.; keep it simple, stupid. I think that we all need to remind ourselves of this when it comes to life and especially relationships.
During a chat with a friend tonight, we discussed relationships. He was stating that relationships are hard and people are hard to figure out. I smiled and remembered the days when I had the same thought and feelings about relationships.
When I first started dating, I went into it with open arms and a feeling of excitement that no one could destroy. After all, it was new and I only knew of the ‘yucky love stuff’ I fashioned in my young, naive mind.
Then after a few relationships and a marriage, true life hit me. Suddenly there was an assault on my hope and a dagger in my heart. OK, OK…I am being dramatic. LOL However, you get the point. Anyone over the age of 30 years old, who takes a quick review of his or her lives starting with the early dating age, knows of what I speak. Something happens during this process and one modifies their way of thinking. It can go either way; positive or negative.
For most of us, we look back and finally get the answer; the answer and guide towards a successful relationship. We start noticing signs from the very beginning. Signs such as these:
How does he/she treat their mother and the friends they claim they love? – If they disrespect their mother (especially when they have a kind and loving mother), how in hell are they going to respect you? If they cant revere the person that gave them life and nurtured them….what makes you think you are on a higher level in their minds?
You ask about their history and previous relationships. That will give you some indication if they have learned their lesson and if their paths have changed.
Depending on who you are, you check for sensitivity. If they are the type that seem to have no concern about their fellow man, why would you date this person?
The list can go on forever…
What about when you want to know if someone is truly interested? This, to me, has been easier ONLY in the last 3 years. I know it took me a while. Well better late than never right? I realize that we are all different. However, there are some parts of us that can be ‘cookie cutter’ when it comes to our attraction and intrigue towards another person.
For instance, we want to know more about that person. Curiosity is in our DNA; when we are intrigued by ANYTHING, we want to know more. That can be food, a person, a possible vacation spot and etc. If they are not asking questions or trying to get to know you, they are probably ‘not that into you’.
Some may argue that point because they confuse chatting (talk or text) frequently as a sign that someone likes them. That could be because you are, at that time, a ‘filler’ and they have no one else to really talk to. Be careful and pay attention to know the difference.
Another way you can tell if someone is interested is by how much time the want to spend with you. Now let us be honest about this one, especially us men. If someone is busy with work or school (or both), that person will make time for you if they are interested. Now I am not saying they will make a lot of time with you if they have valid reasons. For the most part, we can all make a little time. If we do create this window of freedom and we spend it with you, guess what….we like you ;-).
During that chat with my friend, I reminded him that relationships are supposed to be simple. We get so used to the ‘less than perfect’ relationships, we think this is how it is supposed to be. These relationships derive out of loneliness or stem from our low self-esteem. When he mentioned that people are hard to understand I immediately thought ‘why?’ If you do not understand someone, open your mouth as ask. Simplicity, I am huge fan of yours. Will you marry me? LOL
Remember, keep it simple stupid (K.I.S.S)
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