As I think about that phrase, I can only think about my own life. I was conceived on Valentines Day as a desperate effort to save a marriage ruined by my biological father and mother. From what I understand, they both did the damage. Born 9months and almost a week later, I had no idea what I was getting into.
By the time I was 7 years old, I quickly discovered that life was less than perfect. To my own detriment, I held on to this bitter beginning for years for numerous reasons. Having a mother abandon you and your siblings repeatedly didn’t help. Being born in a ‘way’ that most would consider a ‘freak of nature’. Then pair that with being a light-skinned black. Not white enough for the white kids; not dark enough for the black kids. It was tough. But hey, there are plenty of people that had it tougher.
As time went on and life bent to take my hand, I discovered that we all have a choice. We have a choice to let our past define us and take us down. Or we can use that as a personal testimony that fuels us forward into a better life.
For a while, I must admit, I used my distraught beginnings as a crutch. This crutch was my excuse to not move faster and blame the world for the mistakes that I made. To blame others for the ‘hand I was dealt’. However there becomes a point in my life when I knew I had to stand up, make my life better for not only myself. I had to make my life better for my future phantom children. I did not want these kids of mine to be disappointed in their father. I wanted them to give them an example of how we can make our own choices; Praise be to God.
This turning point was when I decided to leave home and explore my options in Denver. I never lived that far away from home. Before I moved, I did not visit my family often but I knew I was close (physically). I was talking to a friend of mine today about Denver; which brought on this blog.
Denver was a place where I got my heart broken the most by a person. Denver was the place where I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself. Denver was a place where I started searching for a closer relationship with God. And Denver was a place where I finally got to experience 4 seasons. Coming from Texas, that was HUGE for me. It was the best experience thus far; now that I look back.
However, I don’t believe that it was actually ‘Denver’ that changed my life. Because not matter where you go…there you are. But it took me out of my comfort zone so I could grow. I hope, wish and pray that everyone gets to experience this ‘growth’ because I honestly believe that it saved my life. Thanks be to God.
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